This is the year I throw open the doors of my life and step out into the wild of my own creative self.
A little dramatic?
Well...maybe. But that's how it feels at the beginning of such a thing. And if I'm going to step out, I'm going to step all the way out.
I know I've been absent here—again. I'm afraid my heart went into a a little blog hibernation these past few months. I think it was the notice I put up: Hey, I'm going to revamp this little blog and bring "you"—oh, you vast number of potential readers who don't actually exist—all that I think you want.
I think I terrified myself. ;-)
The psychology behind it all will only fascinate my naval gazing self—so I'll spare you. But bottom line, I set out to repeat the same mistake I've made many times before (ah, those patterns). By announcing that I would create an arting blog to help other arting people, I was setting out to create something (a blog) I wasn't actually that keen to create...for a purpose I couldn't quite get behind.
Took me a while to figure that out...but I guess wisdom comes with age...
I was in fact replacing what I actually wanted with what I thought I should want.
Because building a blog for the purpose of helping others was far more acceptable than simply doing what I love (arting) for myself. (Gasp! How selfish!!)
So anyway. Self-aware or not at that point, I still did what I felt like doing anyway. I ran away.
(From the blog—not from my home, thank goodness, because we all know the whole place would come crumbling down without me!)
I just stopped blogging (again) and I quietly did what I wanted--but secretly. Shhh. So no one would know just how selfish I really am.
I worked in my art journal. I peered under the lid of the fiber arts world—thank you Pinterest—and fell madly in love with creating my own fiber collages. You'll find some things I created lately in my new art journal and mixed media galleries.
Next post, I'll talk about the mad shifts I've made these last few months and about the super exciting arting plans I have for myself this year.
But you need to know now, because I need to be honest. One of the biggest shifts concerns my blog, Hello Heart.
And let's see, I need to be brief...but you need a little back story too:
I started blogging five years ago. My first post explained where I was heading at that point (in and out of doors, it seems, even then!) Basically, at that point I was ending a chapter in my life. With my business partner, I had closed a yoga studio turned clothing consignment store (don't ask), stepped down from leading a local education foundation that I and several key people spent nearly eight years creating, and prepared to move my family to a location in the Bay Area that better suited our family. It was a big transition time, and of course, I was trying to figure out what to do next.
And you know, it was 2010. Along with millions of others (actually late to the scene), I discovered blogs. And I fell madly in love with the blogging world. I couldn't believe the amazing writers and entrepreneurs out there (could any of us?) Soon, I was subscribed to 75, 100 blogs...and I decided I wanted to be a blogger, too.
Just like I thought I wanted to be an entrepreneur and a fiction writer and a teacher at different points in my life, because I basically LOVE engaging my creativity and making things (and helping people). And learning (and what a learning project Wordpress has been!)
There are so many ways to translate the messages we get from our hearts...so easy to get the wrong message...
It took me five years, but I finally figured out that I could not, should not and did not want to show up consistently to my blog. Because that's the first rule of building readership, right? Blog consistently and often.
The truth is, I could never get that excited about being someone who publishes content to develop a readership. I'm not a
blogger publisher. I've spent exactly 0 hours building a readership.
Instead, all that time I wasn't blogging, I was doing what I really wanted to do (there we go—those patterns again!) I had discovered art journaling and all the possibility of creating in different art mediums—and that's mostly what I did instead of blogging.
I'm happiest when I'm making things.
And so here at Hello Heart, instead of blogging to publish (for others, as a publication), I'll be blogging to simply record, document and and reflect on my making journey...when I can, when I want, how I want.
Because—truth—Hello Heart is my online journal. Nothing else. I'm sharing what I learn along the way of my creative journey because I've always done my best thinking in writing.
And who knows? Maybe others out there can benefit from what I learn.
I know I've benefited immensely from people sharing and I'd be happy to return the favor.